Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Are you ready to live with a drug and/or alcoholic Abuser?

Are you ready to live with a drug or alcoholic Abuser?


When and if you ever meet a nice young man or woman, and they are very educated, sweet, desirable, well dressed, talk and sweep you off your feet, make sure that you know them well. If you find out that they either drink alcohol or use drugs, rung like hell and don’t look back. Believe me when I say, once a drug addict or alcoholic, will always be a drug addict and/or an alcoholic. Do not believe that they will ever stop, because they cannot. Cancer is decease, drugs and alcohol eats the mind, controls them. They are good kind hearted  and even hard working people, they mean what they say and promise, until their addiction takes over.

Many will try hard, they will go to programs, hospitals, and they may get clean for years or maybe decades, but one day the urge will take them back and the whole process starts again. I will break the two and try to explain the difference:

An alcoholic, not a social alcoholic or a weekend alcoholic, but a person who drinks every day cannot function unless they are drunk. Many alcoholics drink and bother no one, they just drink until they pass out, and one day their liver gives up and they die of either Cancer or other alcoholic related disease. We then have the alcoholic who likes to socialize and dance and have fun. Then we have the dangerous alcoholics who get violent, they ether like to fight other people, beat their partner up, or just go ballistic and break everything in their sights. Some have also killed someone. When they sober up, they cannot remember and the apologies and promises begin. They can be very convincing, their partner and/or family believe them and forgive. Days later the alcohol syndrome repeats itself. When the alcohol finishes and there is no money, that’s when the alcoholic goes desperate and demands money or will steal money to buy their alcohol. Many are smart enough to go to their friend’s and neighbor’s houses and get free drinks. This goes on for decades until the alcoholic kills someone, goes to jail or dies. The family and loved ones have already been mentally abused and finally some peace.

The drug addict has a more expensive addiction. Once they need the drug, they will get nasty, violent; they will steal everything including the kitchen sink. They will sell all the food in the house, including baby food, if you have babies, dog food, any kind of pet food, you cannot hide anything, because they will find it. They have this sixth sense to find money. They will also sell their clothes and whatever clothes they find. Many try to stop, they go to hospitals, programs, rehabs and they get clean for years, even decades. One day the urge comes back and they start using all over again, and the hell continues until they kill someone and go to jail, or die. Only then will their family and loved ones be at peace and relax.

The majority of the drug addicts, when they stop using drugs, start drinking alcohol, and become alcoholics. The escape from drugs to alcohol and hell continues even worse.

The partners and family become co-dependent; they cannot work, sleep or think, worrying about the alcohol or drug abusers. There is lack of sleep, worries that their belongings will disappear, the children if any will be in danger of either using, or becoming drug or alcohol abuser too. One cannot function when becoming co-dependent.

I know of this all to be true, because I have lived through both.

It is truly an ongoing nightmare, living with a drug and alcohol abuser.

I know many that have stopped and are living a happy life with their spouses. That is because their love for their family and for themselves is greater than the substance abuse. They do admit that the feeling is there and have fought the urge. Can you live the rest of your life like that?


Sunday, July 28, 2013

Stress, Anxiety attackd, Panic Attacks

Stress, Anxiety Attacks, Panic Attacks

One has to personally experience one of these three to understand fully.

Stress, what is stress?

Stress a feeling of strain and pressure. Symptoms may include a sense of being overwhelmed, feelings of anxiety, overall irritability, insecurity…

Anxiety is an unpleasant state of inner turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behavior, such as pacing back and forth is the subjectively unpleasant feelings of dread over something unlikely to happen, such as the feeling of imminent death. Anxiety is not the same as fear, which is felt about something realistically intimidating or dangerous and is an appropriate response to a perceived threat; anxiety is a feeling of fear, worry, and uneasiness, usually generalized and unfocused as an overreaction to a situation that is only subjectively seen as menacing. It is often accompanied by restlessness, fatigue, problems in concentration, and muscular tension. Anxiety is not considered to be a normal reaction to a perceived person with stress although many feel it occasionally.

Panic attacks may be symptoms of an anxiety disorder.

Panic attacks are sudden feelings of terror that strike without warning. These episodes can occur at any time, even during sleep. A person experiencing a panic attack may believe that he or she is having a heart attack or that death is imminent. The fear and terror that a person experiences during a panic attack are not in proportion to the true situation and may be unrelated to what is happening around them. Most people with panic attacks experience several of the following symptoms:
"Racing" heart
Feeling weak, faint, or dizzy
Tingling or numbness in the hands and fingers
Sense of terror, of impending doom or death
Feeling sweaty or having chills
Chest pains
Breathing difficulties
Feeling a loss of control

Panic attacks are generally brief, lasting less than ten minutes, although some of the symptoms may persist for a longer time. People who have had one panic attack are at greater risk for having subsequent panic attacks than those who have never experienced a panic attack. When the attacks occur repeatedly, a person is considered to have a condition known as Panic Disorder

OK, now that I have explained what they are, If you do not know, or never experienced them, I will let you know how they actually feel. I know this, because I have experienced them. I have managed to control them with different techniques.

The latter information, I got it on line from experienced people. I am not saying that they will work for everyone, but I have not let them control my life.

If you have noticed one thing leads to another. Stress, Anxiety, Panic!

I consider myself to be a strong person, but life has given me stress. , When you have children and you find yourself alone, homeless, living from one place to the other, you also have a house and a car to maintain, Utilities, children, a lot of bills, and you lose your income; these will stress anyone up to the max. You try to find a way and you struggle to find a solution, and another problem arises. Your mind begins to close, you can’t think, the migraine headaches begin, you feel like screaming, you pray, but things do not change.

Now you find yourself alone whether it’s your fault or not, no one to talk to, no one to relate or understand. You look for help, but there’s no one. Your body begins to change, you get sick, you cannot function, you cannot think, you become helpless. You are about to give up on life. You start to get anxious, you want everything to change quickly, but nothing changes. You can’t talk to anyone for fear of no one understanding how or what you feel. You can’t breathe, you start getting angry, you want to run and run, you want to break everything around you, then you cry, scream or sing as loud as you can, but you go to a Doctor who will prescribe pills. The pills make you drowsy and they make you feel better, for a little while, but then, when you don’t drink them you start all over again. The anxiety begins, you are sleeping or you are sitting down quietly and your mind starts wondering. Again you get stressed out, you get anxious, and that’s when the Panic attack starts again. You can’t breath, your chest hurts, your head hurts, it starts getting hot, some people get naked and others faint, I get on my van and want to drive away to Timbuktu. I want to keep driving and driving and driving until there is no more road, then it will end when my van fall into empty space and it will all be over!

But have I done what I have been thinking? Have I let my body control me? NO!

We think that nothing can help us that it is all over; we have no one to live for. We have to live for ourselves; I look at myself in the mirror and start talking to myself. I ask myself am I really alone? I look around, my husband is there. Many that I know have their children, their siblings, their parents, friends who care. No one else was there before I met my husband. Many are truly alone, so what shall they do? In the end we have ourselves to live for. If we believe in God we have to wait for God to take us, not before. In the mean time, are we going to live our lives in fear?

Think, when we get stressed, anxious and panic, we are only hurting our loved ones, if we have them. No family, friends, are you alone? Are you going to bother strangers who will not give a dam? Do you really want to end in the mental hospital with people who like you have mental problems and will help drive you insane? That won’t help. Being afraid to die and not dying until God sends for you. Does it make sense? I don’t think so.

Instead look for a way out. Worrying will not pay the bills or feed anyone. The bills will have to wait. Let the bill collectors drive themselves insane, I did it! They can’t hurt you or take you to jail. It is not worth their time. You have no food? Go visit friends, or relatives, go to shelters. I never went to shelter; I always found a way to make money to feed my kids. Go fishing, I did. Where there is a will there is a way. Feel lonely? Go to the park, the beach, the mall, I am sure that you will find someone to talk to. Are you afraid of connecting with people? Are you a loner? It’s time to get out of that shell; all you can get is a no or get lucky and find someone.

Whenever I get mad,,,,,,, and feel lost, I hit the pillows, I go into the shower I scream, I let the tears flow, or I take my cymbal and throw it on the floor, the BONG, makes me feel good. If it is raining and there is thunder and lightning I go into the rain, get wet, and every time I hear the thunder I make believe it is my guardians hearing me and letting me know that all will be right.

Are you sick? Are you in pain? Excruciating pain? Can’t walk, can’t hear, eye problems? Learn to meditate, yes you can if you want to and really try! I have had all of the above. Think positive. Again, if you believe in God and have faith, he will help you. I know that it’s easier said than done, it is hard when there is no one there or a voice to sooth you. You feel like you are in a room where there’s no door, or window to get out. It gets dark and you want to scream but you know that no one will hear you. That’s when fear, stress, anxiety starts, then you try but nothing changes, you start panicking. But instead try to relax, think of good things that have happened in the past. OK, many of you like me do not have happiness in your dictionary of life. Sit or lay comfortable close your eyes, try to relax, and then imagine yourself where you want to be, forget about the world, this is “Me” time, your time to think about you. Imagine yourself dancing, you feel light you are in the air; you’re flying over a mountain. You land near a beautiful waterfall, there are beautiful flowers everywhere, butterflies of all color and sizes, animals of all kinds at peace with each other, you look up and the birds are flying or sitting on the tree branches. You are at peace, the birds sing and you are very happy. The water at the lake looks so clear and inviting. You then jump in the water and it feels just right. You float, then you swim, it feels very refreshing when it wets your face and body. Finally you get out of the water and lay down on the grass, watching the beautiful sky. You have no care in the world; all is perfect for those moments. Relax, relax, and relax!

It is time to go back to reality, but before you go back, you decide that you will live for you. You are not alone, for you have yourself and your guardian angels that God has sent to watch over you. You will decide to face the world and its problems, you will survive, and you will learn to survive. When a problem arises, try to solve it, if it does not solve right way, don’t stress for everything in life has an ending. Only God can decide when to end your life and it will not be an ending, but the beginning of new life.

 Be happy, no more panics, no more anxiety and get rid of the stress. You can chat with me, leave a comment, let me know if I helped a little, ask questions. Remember that you are never alone!



Thursday, February 21, 2013

Parenting: there is no right or wrong way to parent

I often read on Facebook and other site how a parent teaches their children. Is there a right way? My answer is, there is no right or wrong, A child will behave how they want as they grow older. They will learn when they go out into the world from other people. No matter how much we try they will go their own way.
However, how we as parents act and whatever we do, we are the ones that the children will learn from in their early ages. The examples we set, the rules we make them follow, the discipline we exercise, will start them in the direction they may follow.
Many parents believe that keeping their children at home, protecting them from the street, giving them everything they want, not allowing them to discover the world will save them. A mother who will not allow her sons/daughters to join activities, the armed forces, other groups, by letting them believe it is safe. A daughter or son graduates high school, goes to college, they either quit college or finish it. A mother decides it is best for her child to stay home where she can watch them or le them do as they please to make them happy. When these children become men or women, and their parents die, they are lost, no one to protect them any more. They do not know how to face the world and are like children. They will learn the hard way.
Then we have the parents that teach their children from adolescents how to survive. These parents let their children learn from the streets, making sure that they supervise their children, teach them right from wrong, how to defend themselves from bullies and not to bully. These parents let their children fall down and learn to get up by themselves, how to heal their own scrapes and burns. Teach them to fend for themselves, how to survive, give then tough love and understanding, and when they are left alone, they will survive and learn more.
Then again they will learn to live their own lives, and choose how to live their own lives. Many of them will hate you for a while but if they are wise, and appreciate what you have done for them, they will love you for teaching them to be independent and smart adults. Yes, many will not appreciate nor acknowledge your enduring and struggling to help and teach them, many will give the credit to someone else who does not deserve it, but knowing that you did or tried to do the right thing, is a great satisfaction
Whether they become good working men and/or women, professionals, criminals,Drug addicts, alcoholics, depends on them. If they are strong they will do the right thing, but if they are weak they will end up in jail, alone, dead, or lost.
I do not believe that drug addicts or alcoholics are sick people unless they have some kind of mental disorder that drove them to it.  I have seen many that I have saved, and lived with one who gave it up and is alive and doing good now thank God.
Society today does not even realize what is truly going on with humanity. The government does not let good parents discipline their children the correct way. Parents can no longer spank their kids or yell at them, because they call it abuse. Teachers are not allowed to discipline their students, because many of them abuse their rights.
Religions have changed and the new generation does not know what to believe in any more. I myself am an adult, a senior and am confused. Lucky for me that my psychic experiences have taught me to believe that there is a God and Goddess. No where in the bible have I read that woman has been given any rights, except to birth and serve man which I do not believe, but that is another discussion.
If we the seniors are confused, how do we expect the younger generation to behave? All we can do is try to teach and help them understand, that we too are confused, and teach them what we believe is right and wrong.

As I said in the beginning, how we behave is the example that we give our children, and when we do something we know is wrong, we try to explain why or pray that they will understand when they are adults. We cannot be perfect, but at least we can try and do the right thing and pray for the best.

This is my opinion, maybe you the readers may think different.









Sunday, February 10, 2013

Why am I a fightened Senior?

Why am I a Frightened Senior?

Sitting here on a chair at a social event by myself, everyone dancing and talking to each other makes me remember how invisible I feel in a room full of many people at times. No one even cares to take a moment to say hello or ask how I am doing. Is it perhaps because they think that I am old and senile and do not know how to carry a conversation? Is it perhaps because I talk too much? That may be it, sometimes without realizing it, I reminisce a lot. Is it perhaps because I have a hearing problem and they do not want to bother repeating themselves? Is it because I have a problem walking? No that’s not it, that can’t possibly bother anyone.
I look at myself in the mirror and try to improve my behavior when I go out. If I have nothing important to say, I won’t say a thing. I try not to shout when I talk. One thing is for sure, I am a well educated woman and will never make a fool of myself or act embarrassing. I know how to conduct myself in public. This happens to a lot of Seniors, for I am not alone with this.
I am an independent woman, and am having a hard time when my husband has to help me when I walk, talk for me on the phone because I cannot hear well. I use my cap-tel phone to speak with people but the operators are too slow to translate ad the other person gets frustrated because I have to pause to read the conversation. I get frustrated when I can’t understand. Some people do not understand, that I have a hearing problem and when they see my husband repeating, they automatically think that either I cannot speak English or am Senile and do not understand. Then they patronize me when I speak.
When my sons actually have to help me get on and off the car and help me walk, I appreciate it , but I feel so helpless. Yet I need the help, I have never been pampered or helped by anyone. I am not used to it.
I am so much afraid, that I too am becoming one of those old people who will be led to a chair at social events and left there, as if I was some coat hanging there until my owner comes to take me home. Yes, I am afraid, I am very afraid. I am still the same woman, if I can still write books, I can carry a meaningful conversation. I am a well educated woman.
I have come to realize that it is uneducated, ignorant, inconsiderate morons who are the ones that want to feel superior and have no common sense.
I should never feel that way and neither should any other senior who is still capable of living a normal life. I will not go where I know I will be treated like I am invisible. When asked why I do not go, I will say the truth. I will be treated with respect and as a human being or either stay home or go where I will be treated with respect. The fact is, that the people who treat me improper are uneducated illiterates, who either do not like me, do not know who or what I am, or threatened by older people like me.
A blind person can hear, a heard of hearing person can see and write, many handicapped people have normal abilities. We have feelings too and would appreciate some attention and be treated with respect and dignify us by paying attention to us while we still are normally and humanly capable.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The Young and The Seniors

The Young and the seniors


I am writing these articles, so that the young generation will someday realize that they too will be seniors, Elderlies, (a nice word for old).

Not all seniors go senile and act like children. Every day I see, and read people when they see an old person’s picture, a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother, a father, a grandfather, old aunt or uncle. Then I see people say awww, how sweet, especially Latinos say que chulita or chulitoo (meaning how cute. That, to me sounds like a compliment for a dress or article, as traje chulo (cute dress).

Senior are not cute, I doubt if any adult likes to be called cute!

This is patronizing B.S that ought to be outlawed in a world of civility.

Living accommodations for seniors insist upon referring to it as ‘ELDER CARE”. Every time I see that term I hate it. It is so demeaning as if those of us who are over 65 are frail and needy. Why not call us senior citizens? Just don’t say “elderly”.

I’m 71. Why do you need to call me anything? I am me! And pleeeease, don’t call me Cute. Ok, I was a baby-boomer. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually, I’m the best I’ve ever been. I had a bad fall many years ago, and that affected me physically, but I was able to outrun many. I don’t feel like a senior citizen. Call on me. Don’t give me names. Don’t patronize me.

I refer to myself and anyone over 65 as a senior. (SeƱora.). I’ve known people who are still young who are sourpusses, sticks in the mud, so it’s a mistake to judge a person by their age. I’m a woman who has had a busy, interesting life and who still has good manners a Published Author, a Psychic, My memories of when I was two years old are still there. Many clerks, workers in offices treat senior like children and tell them to be good. I want so much to give them a fat lip! No one of any age should be put down.

I’ve got a few words of advice for those who do not understand older people.

I read this in an article and I am sharing it. “I want you to do this for your education and growth. You must stand beside some older person for this exercise. Now, bend your head and look down and both sets of feet. Tell me, where are you standing? Give up? Okay, I’ll tell you. You are standing next to an elderly person who is only a few steps ahead of you on the very same path from Birth right into Eternity. Babies, toddlers, children, young adults, middle-ages, the elderly all walk the same path every day. Always have, always will. We’re all headed for the same EXIT–and it’s the only game in town. And if you’re very lucky you, too, will reach the place where the elderly now call their territory (they don’t envy you, they were already in that play). If you poke fun at them you are literally poking fun at your future. It’s never a bad stroke of luck to grow old, it’s a privilege. So we lucky elderlies need to remember that the young who poke fun and laugh, well, the joke’s on them, isn’t it? (Smile)

If you are a functioning human being, you should be respected. That’s what is wrong with our society…when we are all human beings trying to make the most of this life. Why can’t we all be referred to as a person?

Even if some are sick and senile, they have feelings too.

I laugh when I see the younger generation treat me like a child, try and teach me what I knew before they were born. Many times I keep quiet, and then when time passes, I surprise them. All the time that they have been patronizing me, I have been patronizing them.

We seniors, or the Elderly, are the people who taught the young what the world is all about, and even at our age, we continue to teach them. Remember I am

Chulita and cute, but don’t call me that, I feel being disrespected and treated like a child. I have not yet reached that state thank God. Even if I do give me the respect that I have earned.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Mortals where do we begin? What shall we believe in?

A lot of people wait until they need God to pray, others need to tell people that they pray or believe in God thinking that their sins will go away. Others hide behind the bible or religion to erase their bad deeds. I do not live the bible, I learn from it. I thank God every day and remember him every day, not only when I need him. I ask for forgiveness if I have unconsciously sinned.  I was not there when God created earth,or humans. I was not there when they wrote the bible or crucified Jesus, therefore, I as well as many, is innocent of whatever sins that  I have committed. I see so many posts of pictures and images of Jesus, but is that the picture of the real Jesus? Yet the bible says something about not loving images. I do not want to be rude or criticize, I love Jesus even if I never met him, but because it is written that he sacrificed his life for his fellow humans. So many different religions, each criticizing the other. The Media  with their news about the Mayans, scared the hell out of many when they said the world is ending. Many even spent millions to build underground shelters. Now the media is trying to scare us saying that  Aliens were, and will be here. What is the new generation of children going to believe? I believe that we were brainwashed. I believe in what I see and have felt. I have felt God and my Goddess, and guardians. elements of earth, air, fire and water. But yet many call people like me witches.
I have read that witches were burned in the past, only because humans were to ignorant or dumb or were brainwashed to believe that witches are evil.  I have also seen so many fill a Facebook page about prayers, different pictures of Jesus. I call them fanatic who are afraid that death is near and they have nothing to hang on to but their believes. Yes, it is beautiful to believe, but trying to convince yourself that you believe is something else, I call that doubt.
Now I see different things on the TV history network, now it is about how the world will have visitors from another planet, or trying to tell us that maybe the Gods our ancestors saw were aliens and we call them Gods. 
I know that we humans have  a mark on the palm of our hands. It is an "M" Meaning Mortals. Meaning that we will all die at one time or another.