Sunday, February 10, 2013

Why am I a fightened Senior?

Why am I a Frightened Senior?

Sitting here on a chair at a social event by myself, everyone dancing and talking to each other makes me remember how invisible I feel in a room full of many people at times. No one even cares to take a moment to say hello or ask how I am doing. Is it perhaps because they think that I am old and senile and do not know how to carry a conversation? Is it perhaps because I talk too much? That may be it, sometimes without realizing it, I reminisce a lot. Is it perhaps because I have a hearing problem and they do not want to bother repeating themselves? Is it because I have a problem walking? No that’s not it, that can’t possibly bother anyone.
I look at myself in the mirror and try to improve my behavior when I go out. If I have nothing important to say, I won’t say a thing. I try not to shout when I talk. One thing is for sure, I am a well educated woman and will never make a fool of myself or act embarrassing. I know how to conduct myself in public. This happens to a lot of Seniors, for I am not alone with this.
I am an independent woman, and am having a hard time when my husband has to help me when I walk, talk for me on the phone because I cannot hear well. I use my cap-tel phone to speak with people but the operators are too slow to translate ad the other person gets frustrated because I have to pause to read the conversation. I get frustrated when I can’t understand. Some people do not understand, that I have a hearing problem and when they see my husband repeating, they automatically think that either I cannot speak English or am Senile and do not understand. Then they patronize me when I speak.
When my sons actually have to help me get on and off the car and help me walk, I appreciate it , but I feel so helpless. Yet I need the help, I have never been pampered or helped by anyone. I am not used to it.
I am so much afraid, that I too am becoming one of those old people who will be led to a chair at social events and left there, as if I was some coat hanging there until my owner comes to take me home. Yes, I am afraid, I am very afraid. I am still the same woman, if I can still write books, I can carry a meaningful conversation. I am a well educated woman.
I have come to realize that it is uneducated, ignorant, inconsiderate morons who are the ones that want to feel superior and have no common sense.
I should never feel that way and neither should any other senior who is still capable of living a normal life. I will not go where I know I will be treated like I am invisible. When asked why I do not go, I will say the truth. I will be treated with respect and as a human being or either stay home or go where I will be treated with respect. The fact is, that the people who treat me improper are uneducated illiterates, who either do not like me, do not know who or what I am, or threatened by older people like me.
A blind person can hear, a heard of hearing person can see and write, many handicapped people have normal abilities. We have feelings too and would appreciate some attention and be treated with respect and dignify us by paying attention to us while we still are normally and humanly capable.

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