Thursday, February 21, 2013

Parenting: there is no right or wrong way to parent

I often read on Facebook and other site how a parent teaches their children. Is there a right way? My answer is, there is no right or wrong, A child will behave how they want as they grow older. They will learn when they go out into the world from other people. No matter how much we try they will go their own way.
However, how we as parents act and whatever we do, we are the ones that the children will learn from in their early ages. The examples we set, the rules we make them follow, the discipline we exercise, will start them in the direction they may follow.
Many parents believe that keeping their children at home, protecting them from the street, giving them everything they want, not allowing them to discover the world will save them. A mother who will not allow her sons/daughters to join activities, the armed forces, other groups, by letting them believe it is safe. A daughter or son graduates high school, goes to college, they either quit college or finish it. A mother decides it is best for her child to stay home where she can watch them or le them do as they please to make them happy. When these children become men or women, and their parents die, they are lost, no one to protect them any more. They do not know how to face the world and are like children. They will learn the hard way.
Then we have the parents that teach their children from adolescents how to survive. These parents let their children learn from the streets, making sure that they supervise their children, teach them right from wrong, how to defend themselves from bullies and not to bully. These parents let their children fall down and learn to get up by themselves, how to heal their own scrapes and burns. Teach them to fend for themselves, how to survive, give then tough love and understanding, and when they are left alone, they will survive and learn more.
Then again they will learn to live their own lives, and choose how to live their own lives. Many of them will hate you for a while but if they are wise, and appreciate what you have done for them, they will love you for teaching them to be independent and smart adults. Yes, many will not appreciate nor acknowledge your enduring and struggling to help and teach them, many will give the credit to someone else who does not deserve it, but knowing that you did or tried to do the right thing, is a great satisfaction
Whether they become good working men and/or women, professionals, criminals,Drug addicts, alcoholics, depends on them. If they are strong they will do the right thing, but if they are weak they will end up in jail, alone, dead, or lost.
I do not believe that drug addicts or alcoholics are sick people unless they have some kind of mental disorder that drove them to it.  I have seen many that I have saved, and lived with one who gave it up and is alive and doing good now thank God.
Society today does not even realize what is truly going on with humanity. The government does not let good parents discipline their children the correct way. Parents can no longer spank their kids or yell at them, because they call it abuse. Teachers are not allowed to discipline their students, because many of them abuse their rights.
Religions have changed and the new generation does not know what to believe in any more. I myself am an adult, a senior and am confused. Lucky for me that my psychic experiences have taught me to believe that there is a God and Goddess. No where in the bible have I read that woman has been given any rights, except to birth and serve man which I do not believe, but that is another discussion.
If we the seniors are confused, how do we expect the younger generation to behave? All we can do is try to teach and help them understand, that we too are confused, and teach them what we believe is right and wrong.

As I said in the beginning, how we behave is the example that we give our children, and when we do something we know is wrong, we try to explain why or pray that they will understand when they are adults. We cannot be perfect, but at least we can try and do the right thing and pray for the best.

This is my opinion, maybe you the readers may think different.









Sunday, February 10, 2013

Why am I a fightened Senior?

Why am I a Frightened Senior?

Sitting here on a chair at a social event by myself, everyone dancing and talking to each other makes me remember how invisible I feel in a room full of many people at times. No one even cares to take a moment to say hello or ask how I am doing. Is it perhaps because they think that I am old and senile and do not know how to carry a conversation? Is it perhaps because I talk too much? That may be it, sometimes without realizing it, I reminisce a lot. Is it perhaps because I have a hearing problem and they do not want to bother repeating themselves? Is it because I have a problem walking? No that’s not it, that can’t possibly bother anyone.
I look at myself in the mirror and try to improve my behavior when I go out. If I have nothing important to say, I won’t say a thing. I try not to shout when I talk. One thing is for sure, I am a well educated woman and will never make a fool of myself or act embarrassing. I know how to conduct myself in public. This happens to a lot of Seniors, for I am not alone with this.
I am an independent woman, and am having a hard time when my husband has to help me when I walk, talk for me on the phone because I cannot hear well. I use my cap-tel phone to speak with people but the operators are too slow to translate ad the other person gets frustrated because I have to pause to read the conversation. I get frustrated when I can’t understand. Some people do not understand, that I have a hearing problem and when they see my husband repeating, they automatically think that either I cannot speak English or am Senile and do not understand. Then they patronize me when I speak.
When my sons actually have to help me get on and off the car and help me walk, I appreciate it , but I feel so helpless. Yet I need the help, I have never been pampered or helped by anyone. I am not used to it.
I am so much afraid, that I too am becoming one of those old people who will be led to a chair at social events and left there, as if I was some coat hanging there until my owner comes to take me home. Yes, I am afraid, I am very afraid. I am still the same woman, if I can still write books, I can carry a meaningful conversation. I am a well educated woman.
I have come to realize that it is uneducated, ignorant, inconsiderate morons who are the ones that want to feel superior and have no common sense.
I should never feel that way and neither should any other senior who is still capable of living a normal life. I will not go where I know I will be treated like I am invisible. When asked why I do not go, I will say the truth. I will be treated with respect and as a human being or either stay home or go where I will be treated with respect. The fact is, that the people who treat me improper are uneducated illiterates, who either do not like me, do not know who or what I am, or threatened by older people like me.
A blind person can hear, a heard of hearing person can see and write, many handicapped people have normal abilities. We have feelings too and would appreciate some attention and be treated with respect and dignify us by paying attention to us while we still are normally and humanly capable.