Saturday, June 16, 2012

It has begun

This book was written to remind those who made my life miserable. It was also written to let those who have experience the same or similar experiences to know that they are not alone and will survive. All it takes is faith, willpower and determination. The book was written to make those who are guilty to try an understand, and stop hurting me. Well it seems that those who are guilty will not admit that they are wrong. Instead of doing the right thing, they continue to be cruel. Now they are angry because the world knows the truth. It was not meant to hurt anyone, just to remind them, but the truth hurts, and they will not accept it. The names of the characters were changed, so how do they know it is them? Guilt, and by commenting about it. I have been ready to be attacked, by being attacked my purpose for writing the book has been satisfied. 

It now begins, for those who have been known as saints, heroes, respected decent people, Goodie-two-shoes, strong and powerful, loving, considerate, helpful, and good Christians, have been child molesters, weak, drug  addicts, ex-cons, idiots, inconsiderate, greedy, disrespectful, adulterers, hurtful and cruel people. The closet doors have been opened to know the real person. I have been been tortured, humiliated, disrespected and no  one defended me, I lived only for my children, trying to have food and a roof over their heads, forgetting about about me and my own  reputation. I kept a journal and promised myself that someday I would get even and remind those who made my life miserable of what they did to me and who they really were.
I feel bad for the young kids who did not realize what was going on and I am sure that they are hurting and will hate me for the rest of my life. The situation with the family has not changed, no one has ever acknowledged the good and the sacrifices I have made for my kids. My daughters do not talk to me,  but that has not changed. Before I wrote the book they treated me the same, I am used to it, no change. My oldest son hates the fact that I wrote the book and thinks that all my comments on my FaceBook are directed to those in the book. He does not realize that there are many people with the same problems and they ask me for help.I love helping  people. I write because I love to write, they should get over it, it is done, I wrote the book, it has been published, but with a lot of errors. Publish America does not edit manuscripts.
I truly pray they get over it and accept the truth, but I  know that will not happen. I just want them to leave me alone.
          I thank God that my husband understands and backs me up, for he was there when many of these things happened. He has always kept quiet, but now he told me to do what I want to do and let no one stop me.  I am at peace  with myself and God, because I have taken care of myself, no one has ever done anything for me, and if they did, I paid them for it. I thank God that although my kids are upset with me, ( except my youngest son and oldest granddaughter) are all drug free, finished their education and are all independent. It is proof that I raised them well, even if they have done some wrong, but no one s perfect. I love them unconditionally, even if they do not talk to me. I have resigned myself to the loss of my kids.
If you want to know what I am talking about, read the book with errors and all. This is the first time that I have blogged my personal, I feel so numb I cannot even understand how people can be so insensitive. No wonder the ocean and the earth are claiming back what humans took from them. I fear Mother Nature and Gods wrath more than anything for they have no mercy.

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